Moldova: Natalia Gordienko

Hello, Moldova! 

Natalia is in "Prison" apparently. We have to assume this is a metaphorical prison as most prisons involve some kind of containment (fences, cells, locked doors etc) as opposed to wandering round vast open spaces in slinky dresses (she has a red one and a black one for those interested).

Natalia's prison appears to be one of not knowing whether she still wants to be in a relationship with someone. This is not an unreasonable quandary to examine in a song. U2 ("With or without you") and The Clash ("Should I stay or should I go") have both explored this theme but what they did that Moldova fails to do, is write a good song about it.

Lyrically, it's hard to match the poetry of the chorus:-

"I don't wanna be with you
I don't wanna be without you
I don't wanna be with you
I don't wanna be without you"

As well as wandering around at sunset, Natalia also demonstrates some of the skills she learned at the "Jacob Rees-Mogg School of Sitting Precariously on Chairs" as she lolls around having her photo taken.

This song was perfect for Eurovision 2020 in that it is a complete non-event. The worst part about it is at 2:35 when the song appears to be over and then Natalia decides to start whining a bit more, like a student padding their essay to try and meet the required word count.

On to 2021....

Have you ever been tricked into attending a party with the promise of "snacks" only to discover a smorgasbord of carrot sticks, hummus, celery, cous cous, cucumber, peppers? YOU SAID "SNACKS"!!! THIS IS SALAD! SNACKS IS CHOCOLATE, CAKE, CRISPS, COOKIES. And then you have to sit and listen hungrily all evening to Neville the physicist and Penelope who loves horses until the clock hits 10pm and it is socially acceptable to make your apologies and leave and then you slip off for a kebab and a Netflix binge.

Natalia knows what I'm talking about which is why "Sugar" makes it really clear what sort of snacks the boy should bring round. "Come over, come over, Hey lover, give me some sugar". Just in case he is in any way uncertain the video is filled with doughnuts, cupcakes, marshmallows and ice cream cones.

We do get a strange bridge to the song where she apparently also wants a kiss but generally the confectionary based focus of the song is maintained and interspersed with Natalia's absolutely petrifying dance moves. 

Both Natalia and Latvia's Samanta Tina last year got to eat cake during their videos. I prefer Latvia's cake (chocolate) and I prefer Latvia's song (not a horrendous, blatant, unstoppable call for sex. Yes, spoiler alert, it isn't really about doughnuts.)

Sorry Moldova, you are the Coconut Eclair of the Eurovision Quality Street tin- I'm sure some people like it but it's not for me.