Teardrops

 In 2013 Emmelie de Forest of Denmark won Eurovision with the song "Only Teardrops". In 2020 it was only teardrops again as the song contest joined Shetland Boat Week, The London Petanque Championships and at least a dozen other events across the globe cancelled due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Celebrating Denmark's 2013 victory, the continent reconvened in Copenhagen in 2014 with Austria's Conchita Wurst crowned champion performing "Rise like a Phoenix". As 2013's Danish teardrops gave rise to 2014's Austrian phoenix, so 2020's teardrops will see the Eurovision phoenix rise from the SARS-CoV-2 ashes!

And there is much to look forward to this year! If Daði Freyr put Iceland on the Eurovision map then Will Ferrell coloured in all the glaciers and drew round the border with a Sharpie. But can Daði bring it home this year? With 2020 scheduled acts allowed to perform again in 2021, I will be keeping an eye on Efendi (Azerbaijan), Hooverphonic (Belgium), the Roop (Lithuania), Tournike Kipiani (Georgia), Destiny (Malta) and, of course, Eurovision's answer to John Newman, James Newman (UK).

This year's contest gives us a unique opportunity to compare several acts (26) and see whether their 2021 offerings are better or worse than their 2020 efforts. And so I will. I will endeavour over the coming weeks to review each artist that is returning this year with new Eurotastic goodies for us.

But before we get to these artists, no fan of Eurovision and/or music can fail to be devastated that we may never see Little Big grace the Eurovision stage. While Alicja (Poland) and The Mamas (Sweden) would both have been deserving of their 3 mins tearing up the ESC stage, they will not be missed like the Russian mesmeric geniuses and the midblowing "Uno" (see below for video).

If anyone was going to wrestle the 2020 title away from Iceland's 8-bit philosophers, it was Little Big. The song has everything- moustaches, PVC catsuits, Las Ketchup legs, counting, dancing/martial arts by a man appearing unqualified to do either, a hat, a headband and the dude with big, black clown lips. We will sadly never know if computer graphics, pyrotechnics and smoke machines could have made this the most perfect Eurovision performance in history. 

So before we venture further into the truly unexplainable brilliance of Eurovision, let us raise a vodka, wave a little Russian flag and allow this tune make us a little bit happier.