Austria: Vincent Bueno

Vincent Bueno is the 2020 metaphor that neither you nor I nor Eurovision need right now.

I think it's safe to say that, since last year, Vincent's partner has either left him or murdered him. The optimism of 2020's "Alive" ("You make me feel like, yeah, oh-oh-oh....you make me feel alive") has been flipped on it's head with 2021's "Amen" ("No, I never thought you'd bury me and you"). With a global pandemic still wreaking havoc, Vincent has decided what we all need is a good dose of dreary, melodramatic heartbreak.

The thing is I like him. "Alive" was fun. A solid bass line, a bit of funk- it's all good. Not good enough for him to strut round his warehouse like a wannabe Bruno Mars but deserving of a few points here and there.

And "Amen" is not the worst thing we'll hear at Eurovision. Possibly the best thing it has going for it is that it's not one of the many "chin up, it's a bit rubbish but we'll get through, life will get better, here's a home video of me as a kid" songs that seem destined to dominate this year's event.

But it's still a bit boring for my liking. Less Vincent Bueno, more Vincent Promedio*.

*For the benefit of non-Spanish readers, "Promedio" is Spanish for "Average" and thus endeth my truly scathing critique of this song.